Six Great Secret Service Beatdowns Recorded on Video Dec 15, 20083:09 PST

While lots of people in the world don’t like our future ex-President Bush, he’s still good for a decent video clip, even in his last days of office. Nobody wants to see heads of state being attacked but the last few decades of video technology have allowed us to turn potentially devastating incidents into something we all love to see: fools getting beat down.

The news of Bush’s “Iraq Shoe Attack” yesterday is now one for the books. Here are some of the best government security beatdowns (okay, they’re not ALL Secret Service) caught on tape:

Nuclear Protestor Has Words for Reagan
What happened:
Las Vegas, April 1992 - Former President Reagan was receiving the Distinguished Service Award from the National Association of Broadcasters. Besides earning him the adoration of journalists, the award also included a 30 lbs. crystal statue. Some nutjob named Richard Paul Springer thought Dutch’s acceptance speech would be the perfect opportunity to protest nuclear testing while he played dodgeball with Reagan’s statue.
The result:
We get to enjoy a first class beatdown in triplicate.

Papal Security Unis That Look Like Court Jesters after the jump…

Would-be Assassin Thinks White Guys in Suits All Look Alike
What happened:
The White House, October 29 1994 - Francisco Martin Duran was a typical not-at-all-suspicious looking tourist wearing a trench coat and sunglasses lurking outside the White House one Fall Saturday. Naturally assuming that a man in a suit standing around the White House would be President Clinton and not a Secret Service agent, he pulled out his semi-automatic rifle and opened fire hoping to kill the president. Only problem? Clinton was inside watching football. We’re guessing it was #3 Nebraska at #2 Colorado in an epic matchup of undefeateds (Nebraska won).
The result:
Duran gets tackled by a random tourist (with decent form I might add). We’re not sure what took the Secret Service so long. Allegedly they were returning fire from the White House grounds, which probably makes the hero tourist nearly as crazy as Duran.

Hinckley Tries to Impress Jodie Foster
What happened:
Washington DC, March 30, 1981 - John Hinckley Jr. was obsessed with his favorite actress, Jodie Foster, so naturally he tried to win her over by killing the president. Too bad The Mystery Method wasn’t around to coach him back then. If it had been, he could’ve just peacocked himself in 80s clothing and sealed the deal. Nevertheless, Hinckley managed to catch Reagan’s entourage as he left the Washington Hilton and fire off a few rounds.
The result:
He managed to shoot Reagan but took a few bruises getting hogtied. In unrelated news, Jodie Foster has kept the father of her 2 children a secret but I wouldn’t bet the deed that they’re Hinckleys.

W. Meets the Press, Baghdad Style
What happened:
Baghdad, December 14 2008 - After 5 years of an unpopular war in Iraq, President Bush makes one last trip to Baghdad and holds a press conference with Iraqi PM Nuri Al-Maliki. Some guy, possibly Random Task posing as a journalist, stood up and threw his shoes at Bush as a parting shot. This, of course, left most people wondering why the Secret Service was slow enough to let him fire off both shoes.
The result:
A former NCAA baseball player, Bush still has reflexes like Neo in The Matrix. The journalist is fending off death-threats.

International Bonus 1: Prince Charles Down Under
What happened:
Sydney, Australia, January 26 1994 - Prince Charles was down in Australia doing whatever it is Princes do (handing out an award or speaking or something), when some disgruntled graduate student tried to off him using a starters pistol.
The result:
An old fashioned hog-tying worthy of the Professional Bull Riders league, except with 15 cowboys.

International Bonus 2: Reveller Attempts to Ghost Ride the Popemobile
What happened:
Vatican City, January 2007 - Newly elected Pope Benedict is cruising in his motorcade to an audience of thousands when some dude jumps the fence for an unspecified reason to try and get up close and personal with His Holiness.
The result:
While he gets beat down in typical fashion, the best part is the ridiculous uniform in the last few seconds. Seriously, the Pope’s security at the end looks like the joker from a deck of cards.

Honorable Mentions (video not good enough or beatdown not good enough):